


The Day Nothing Happened

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-22
Updated: 2006-03-22
Packaged: 2019-02-02 04:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12720039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: A day in the life of an archaeologist, a colonel and a table.





	The Day Nothing Happened

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: It's kinda boring. This fic has the possibility of placing Jack and Daniel within the realm of Real Life.  


* * *

I am a table. I am a rectangular four-foot wide by eight-foot long, golden oak table with lots of grain, a leg on each corner, and a polyurethane sealant. This is important, because though it removes me from the level of 'fine' furniture, it adds to my versatility and my longevity. I was purchased in the early 90's by the U.S. Air Force Quartermaster in a spasm of upgrades for the offices of NORAD. After I was delivered I was reassigned to a priority slot in a new command under the mountain cryptically referred to as SGC. I can seat eight formally, ten comfortably, and twelve friendly. Because I was purchased without chairs, I knew that my life would be one of utilitarianism not formal dining. In other words, I'll see a lot of service of all kinds.

It was early morning in tall civilian Daniel's office. I had been brought in by the mobiles to hold his new computer until he could get his desk back into order. I didn't mind. I always enjoy my time in this office as many wonderful things are sat upon me. It was a long sad time when our Daniel was gone from us but now things are joyous again.

The fluorescent lights came on in the room. Tall civilian Daniel pushed friend door open and entered swiftly. He moved fast because the pile of books and papers was about to fall from where he was holding them to his chest. Tall, military Jack is right behind him with two briefcases and two cups of hot, smelly liquid. The cups say Starbucks. I wonder what star bucking is. But tall military Jack was talking and I wanted to listen.

"Damn it, Daniel, do you have to take every book, pamphlet, folder and scroll home with you?" The tall military mobile dropped the two briefcases on the floor next to me and carefully placed the cups on my surface. I was happy that he does not spill the scalding liquid on my top...even polyurethane has its limits of protection.

"As a matter of fact, Jack, I do. I'm sorry but Amazon dot Com was sold out of the CD on ancient Mesopotamian Cuneiform."

"Hum, must be the Christmas rush for all the future archaeologists in the world." Tall military Jack looked at him and accidentally on purpose knocked a tray of pens and pencils onto the floor. He smiled at tall, civilian Daniel and crouched down behind me. Then he pulled on tall civilian Daniel's hand. The younger mobile looked down at him with an expression of confusion at first. But tall military Jack tugged again, and finally he knelt down by his friend. They exchanged a quick kiss and Jack whispered softly, "Camera. Don't work too hard today."

Tall civilian Daniel chuckled, "Oh, I see." and gently touched the other mobile on the face. "But it's not like I have control over my workload."

But tall military Jack was stern. "I'm coming to get you at five thirty pm. That's when all good little linguists need to come home with their big bad Colonels."

"Jack, I'm a little..."

"Bothered?"

"Worried."

"About?"

"What if someone finds out about us?"

Tall military Jack shrugs. "What if? But really, you lived with me for several months when you came back from Abydos the first time. We're just two guys sharing a house. It's not that unusual."

"I just don't want there to be any problems for you."

"Nah, you just want to keep me on my toes. You know it's hard for an old man like me to compete with those pretty young nurses who keep asking you out on dates. 

Tall civilian Daniel kissed him again, and said softly. "Believe me, you have nothing to worry about in that department. You're all I can handle."

I could tell tall military Jack was happy by how his face turned pink when he smiled. They stood up and there was a loud popping sound. My two favorite mobiles laughed together and tall civilian Daniel told his friend he should go and see Janet about more oil for his knees. Tall military Jack patted him on the back and told him not to worry his 'pretty' head about it; he'd ready for him tonight. Then tall military Jack turned and strode stiffly from the office, limping as soon as he crossed the doorway.

Tall civilian Daniel laughed softly to himself as he sat down beside me and spread his papers out over my large oaken surface. It was a happy sound that we in his office had heard many times since his return. We enjoyed it very much. Then he began to work. Occasionally he would sip the very hot, very smelly liquid from the star bucking cup.

After a few hours, military lady Sam knocked on the door and came in with a white paper bag in her hands. "Daniel? Can I come in?"

"Sure, Sam. Please do." He looked at her curiously. "What's in the bag?"

The lady mobile came in and opened the bag, setting it on me by the star bucking cup. "Well, I found this bag of chocolate walnut cookies just languishing in a grocery store calling your name."

He looked at her over his glasses frames. "My name? How do cookies know my name?"

"Because, they were baked just for you, Daniel." She laughed. "The Pillsbury doughboy has your name on file. You know that."

Tall civilian Daniel laughed his wonderful laugh again. "I doubt that seriously, but I do know you have a plan to make me look like the Pillsbury doughboy."

"Never happen in this lifetime, Daniel. Any woman would love to have your good looks." The mobile lady assured him.

"Yeah, in her bed." Small, medical Janet tapped on the door then came in laughing at the expression on his face.

"Oh, Janet, I don't think so." Tall civilian Daniel looked at her seriously. "I'm just that stuffy geek guy."

"Not in your worst nightmare, sweetie." Small medical Janet chuckled as she hopped up on the only empty spot on my surface, clicking her heels against my stout wooden leg. It tickled. "They draw straws to decide who gets to assist on you physicals."

He blushed so hot even my surface registered his body temperature. "Please, that's so not true."

"Indeed it is Daniel Jackson, I have observed the nurses always compete to be in your presence." Tall alien Teal'c spoke as he and tall military Jack entered the office. 

"Yeah, Daniel. I'm thinking they have a lottery going or something." Tall military Jack teased and reached for the white bag.

"Jaaack...not you too." My favorite mobile complained.

"Oh yes, I too have noticed the birds flocking into the presence of one Doctor Jackson, MA, PhD and intergalactic babe." Tall military Jack commented with a smile. "See! My case in point, Even in your own office you attract the women."

Tall civilian Daniel dropped his forehead on me with a thunk. "Go away, please, and let me work." I hoped he hadn't hurt his head, as my surface is very hard oak.

"Now, now, Daniel. It's lunchtime and you need more than Carter's cookies." He had gotten hold of the bag and managed to get one or the sweet round things out of the white paper container. Military lady Sam slapped him gently on the hands and took the bag away from him. "Ow, Carter, striking a superior officer is a bad business." He blew on his hand and shook it as if injured. "For that, you buy lunch."

"I don't have time for lunch." Daniel protested. "I have to get this translation done."

"Now, Doctor Jackson," Small medical Janet commented. "The Colonel is right. You need to eat lunch, so come on, doctor's orders right on top of your CO's. No excuses."

He looked at tall alien Teal'c for assistance. "Teal'c help me here." 

Tall alien Teal'c looked at his friend and said. "I will not, I agree with them. You need proper nourishment for you to properly perform your function. Therefore lunch will do you good."

"Okay, okay, I give up." Tall civilian Daniel stood up from next to me and put his pencil down next to the papers that were on me.

"That is wise."

"Wisdom has nothing to do with it. I'm outnumbered."

A while later, tall civilian Daniel returned to his office, closed the door, loosened his belt and sat down at my side. He sighed, shook his head and began working on the papers again. He picked a cookie out of the bag and bit it, then reached for the star bucking cup but realized it was empty. He stood up and went to the workbench along the wall. The machine that made the hot, smelly liquid was there and he made another pot of the stuff as he crunched the cookie.

After only a few minutes, someone else knocked on the door. It was the mobile, tall military Siler. "Doctor Jackson? Did you want something?" I liked this mobile. He had fixed me when I was damaged and appreciated fine wood.

"Oh good, Dave, yes I'd like your help if you have some time."

"Sure, Doc, what's up?"

The two mobiles turned their attention to the big plastic box thing on my top. "Well, I'm having some trouble with my computer. I'm getting an error message when I try to access the Internet. I've tried a few things, but I keep getting the weather channel."

Tall military Siler nodded and made a funny hmmming noise. "Oh, yes sir. That was something Mister Quinn had installed. The I.T.s must have uploaded it in your new computer when they installed the rest of the programs. I didn't quite understand what his fascination was with it but he surely wanted it." My mobile friend chewed on his lip in thought. "Would you want the Yahoo home page or something else?"

"Like what?" Tall civilian Daniel seemed intrigued. 

"Well, everyone has their preferences. Do you have a particular news service or magazine that you would like?"

"Can I get Archaeology Today?" He asked excitedly.

"If you can find the website, I think I can set it up for you."

"Get me out of the weather channel and I can."

Several minutes later, tall military Siler turned the monitor to face sitting civilian Daniel. "How about this one, Doc? It's from their posters page, a painting of some place named Abu Simbel."

"Oh, Dave, it's great. Where was it located?" 

"It's from an archaeology link called Mysterious Places." He shrugged. "It's colorful enough that's for certain."

"It's perfect. Thank you so much!" Tall civilian Daniel looked very happy. As mobiles go, he is easy to make very happy.

"Ah, Doc, it's nothing...and when you get tired of this one there's plenty more to chose from...here let me show you..."

After they were finished, tall military Siler straightened up to go. Daniel got up and shook his hand. "Thanks again, this is great. I really appreciate it."

"Aw, Doc. Anytime you need anything, just call. And Doctor J, we're really glad to see you back." The big mobile shrugged. "You always gave us such interesting things to do."

The two men laughed. "Well, I'll try not to bother you too much. Thanks again." Tall civilian Daniel said to his friend.

"No, problem, Doc. Anytime." Tall military Siler left the office smiling and carrying a cookie and a styrofoam cup of smelly hot liquid.

Tall civilian Daniel was just pouring some more hot liquid into his star bucking cup when there came another knock on friend door. Daniel went over and opened it cautiously. It was senior military man Hammond. "Doctor Jackson?"

"Come in General, please." Tall civilian Daniel greeted the older mobile. "What can I do for you?"

Senior military Hammond smiled at his friend. "Nothing actually, I was just doing my walk around this week and saw the light on in your office. How are your doing in your adjustment to...?"

"Corporeal life?" He smiled at the old mobile. "Fine, Sir. I still have a few uhm, blank spots but I'm able to function fairly well."

"Good, good." Hammond looked at him curiously. "You're not maintaining your room here on base anymore, I see."

"Uh, no sir...Jack was kind enough to put me up in his spare room until I get my finances sorted out." He looked sort of embarrassed, but I had heard tall military Jack and he talking. The big important mobiles in charge of the US Government had yet to restart something called a paycheck and tall civilian Daniel was unhappy about it.

Senior military Hammond nodded and frowned. "I'm sorry about that Doctor Jackson. They seem to have difficulty with revoking that last death certificate. They have a little bit of a problem with the third time evidently. They don't seem to know you as well as we do."

"Well, I have been a bit of an unusual case for them."

The important mobile nodded. "Well, I'll make a few phone calls and see if I can help speed them along. But, if you get into a jam..."

"Thank you, Sir, I do appreciate it..."

Tall military Jack tapped on the doorframe then came into the room. He must have overheard their words as he came down the hall because he said. "Aw heck, General, I was gonna try and claim him on my income tax as a deduction."

Senior military Hammond smiled at our mobile friend. "You can try it, Colonel, but I don't think it will fly. He's not a minor."

"No, Sir, he's a major...a major pa..."

"Now, Colonel, I'd take offense at that if I hadn't seen how you were moping around..." Senior military Hammond was frowning at tall military Jack."

"Sssh, Sir. Please, you'll ruin my reputation as a hard assed supervisor." Tall military Jack leaned his hands on me and I felt the warmth of his palms on my surface.

"Forget it, Colonel...you lost that a long time ago around here."

"Oh, darn. And when was that?" Tall civilian Daniel seemed to be studying his cup of coffee and missed the smiling glance from tall military Jack. The mobile leaned his hip against my corner, the rounded one, but I didn't mind.

"I think it was either the time you broke out my car window with the hockey stick, or maybe it was the space-monkey moment in the Gateroom."

"Oh" Mobile Jack looked at senior military Hammond. "Busted, huh?"

The senior mobile nodded. "Wide open, Colonel! Then there was the time my granddaughters..."

"Uh, Sir, don't we have a staff meeting?"

"Why yes, Colonel. I'm glad you mentioned that..." he glanced at his watch, "...in about fifteen minutes, as a matter of fact. I'll be expecting you." Senior military Hammond chuckled to himself as he left the office.

Jack smiled and knocked a pen off of my surface and bent down to pick it up. 

Coincidentally, tall civilian Daniel bent down also. They kissed quickly then both stood up. I was between them and the security camera again.

"I'll come by to get you when the meeting's over." Tall military Jack smiled. "No books tonight. I don't want to yell at you for spreading work all over the dining room table again." He chuckled low in his throat. "I want to spread you on the table."

"Why?"

"Because whatever is on the table gets eaten." 

"Oh," tall civilian Daniel said and turned a bright red. I didn't understand why. Tables are often used for dining. Some people think it's our primary purpose.

After tall military Jack left us alone again, Daniel started to write on the yellow pads again. He did this for a long time. Then he picked up the phone thing and talked into it. 

After a few words, he put the receiver down and made typing noises on the computer on its long board. He hadn't been doing this long when short alien Nyan came into the office. The two men spoke briefly and the smaller mobile gave tall civilian Daniel some shiny, colorful pictures.

"These are good shots, Nyan."

"Thank you, Daniel. I have learned quite a bit."

"Yes, I can see that, but then you always were a very good student." Daniel smiled at the younger man. "Whom have you been working with mostly?"

"I have accompanied several teams from time to time." He replied. "I especially enjoy Major Ferretti's team. He says he likes geeks, that you taught him that we weren't so bad." Nyan looked shyly at his mentor. "I believe he means it as a compliment."

Tall civilian Daniel nodded. "I believe he does." The two men talked a while about things that were too complex for a simple table to comprehend. Then short alien Nyan picked up all his pretty papers and started to leave the office. As he reached the door, he turned back and said quietly. "Welcome back, Daniel, you were missed." Then he was gone.

Daniel sat quietly for a little while. He had a pleased look on his face. He wiped his eyes, then turned back to the typie computer thing.

It was getting late, and Daniel was checking his watch, probably because he was expecting tall military Jack. Then someone tapped at the door and a young lady mobile peeked in around it. "Daniel? Are you busy? Can I come in?""

Tall civilian Daniel immediately got to his feet and came around to my other side. "Cassie, of course you can come in. I'm never too busy for you." Young lady Cassie came into the room and hugged Daniel around the waist. 

He hugged her back, hard, and then he tilted her head back and looked at her, "Cassie, why are you crying?"

"I'm not, I'm just glad you're back." Her voice sounded kind of wobbly and sniffy. 

Our tall civilian Daniel hugged her to him again. "Cassie, I'm glad I'm back too." They stayed like that for a long time, then finally; he pulled his chair around and one out from the wall for her. They sat a while together, him holding her hand and not saying anything.

"What was it like?" Young lady Cassie asked in a nervous little voice. "Do you remember?"

"What was what like?" He took her hand between his two and looked at it. "I don't remember anything about being an Ascended One."

"Mom said that all ready." She said quietly, then after a minute she asked a question. "Do you remember dying?"

"No exactly, Cassie." He said seriously, "I remember being in a lot of pain, and I remember being in the clinic...but that's about all."

"Mom was really mad at Jack for a while. She wouldn't say why though."

"I think Jack was mad at himself too." Tall civilian Daniel laced his fingers between hers with one hand and put his other arm around her shoulders. "We'd been fighting a lot, and I think we weren't ready to make up yet..." he looked at her seriously. "We would have, we just never really got the chance to." He sighed. "I think Jack blamed himself for some reason. But it wasn't his fault. I know that for sure."

"I know he did that. He got really quiet. He wouldn't come over or go anywhere with any of us. Sam thought...well, she was afraid of losing him too."

"I'm sure that's true."

"Why?"

"Because I know Jack." He hugged her close again. "Jack wouldn't hurt me on purpose. You know that." He looked down at her. 

"I know that, silly." She sniffed and said in a quiet voice. "Cause he loves you."

He looked at her in surprise then leaned closer to her and asked in a soft voice. "How do you know that?" 

She pulled back from him and whispered. "Daniel, I'm a teenager. I'm not stupid."

"Cassie, does your mom...?"

Young lady Cassie looked at him funny. ""Of course. She's not stupid either."

Daniel laughed softly. "No, no she's not that."

Then the door pushed open and it was tall military Jack and small medical Janet. They were standing there together. "See," Jack said to Cassie's mother. "I knew the two kids would flock together."

Small medical Janet looked up at him funny. "Colonel, kids don't flock, they herd."

"Kids!" He snorted, "I heard 'em." The two mobiles came into the room. 

I didn't understand. Tall civilian Daniel is not a kid, he's a man grown. Kids are small people. Come to think of it; young lady Cassie is not a kid either.

"Cassie," small medical Janet says to her daughter, "It's time for us to go home, say goodbye to Daniel."

Cassie hugged Daniel around the waist again and he kisses her on top of her head. "See you later, kid."

"I'm holding you to it. Let's go see Return of the King." 

"Okay, but what happened to The Two Towers?" Tall civilian Daniel looked confused.

"You were gone. Teal's took me." She looked over at tall military Jack. "Jack wouldn't take me."

"Well, next downtime we can go and buy the DVDs, I haven't seen it either." Tall military Jack looked at tall civilian Daniel "Are you ready to go, Danny?"

"Goodbye guys." Small medical Janet said as she pulled young lady Cassie with her out of the room with a wave and a smile. They closed the door behind them.

"I've been waiting for you."

"I've been waiting for you too." Tall mobile Jack looked around and saw Daniel's military floppy hat on the hat tree. He plucked it off the wooden arm and tossed it up at the security camera. It landed right on its lens, rocking a few seconds before settling over its glass eye. "And I don't want to wait anymore."

"Jack, General Hammond said not to do that anymore. We'll have the SF's up here in fifteen minutes."

"In fifteen minutes, I'll be finished here."

"In fifteen minutes, I won't be well started yet."

"In fifteen minutes, I'll be finished HERE." Tall military Jack wrapped his arms around his Daniel's waist and hoisted him up on my strong surface. He kissed him softly and nuzzled under his neck. "Then we go home and get finished there."

"You keep picking me up like that and your back will be finished." He looked at Jack with a soft expression in his eyes. "Janet knows about us."

"Janet suspects, but...she can't ask and I...I won't tell."

"Cassie knows about us."

"How?"

"She's a teenager Jack, she's not stupid."

Jack pressed in close between his Daniel's legs and leaned into him, holding him tightly in his arms. They leaned on my surface, but I easily supported both of their weights. "No books tonight?"

"No books."

"Sweet! Come on Danny. Let's go home."

There was a loud knocking on the door. "Colonel O'Neill!"

"Who is it?"

"It's Sergeant Morris, from Security Forces, Sir."

"Yes, Sergeant Morris."

"Colonel O'Neill? Please take Doctor Jackson's hat off the camera lens. It's not funny, Sir. It screws up our security network."

"Yes, Sergeant Morris."

"Thank you, Sir." They kept still while they listened to the footsteps of the security mobile as he walked away.

Tall civilian Daniel, who looked taller than ever now sitting on my surface, smiled at tall military Jack and said. "You keep this up and everyone will know."

Tall military Jack smiled and kissed tall civilian Daniel again happily. "Know about what? You're the best-kept secret in Cheyenne Mountain. Come on; let's go home." Tall civilian Daniel slid down off of my top and my two favorite mobiles, one military and one civilian, walked out of the office, turned off the light. They then closed the door and left me and my other furniture friends safe and secure for the night.

I am a table. I am a rectangular four-foot wide by eight-foot long, golden oak table with lots of grain, a leg on each corner, and a polyurethane sealant. Because I was purchased without chairs, I knew that my life would be one of utilitarianism not formal dining. In other words, I am used for many different purposes. They are all useful and serve a greater goal. I have seen exciting times, sad times, lonely times and happy times. And there are days when nothing exciting happens. But, I am still satisfied with my place here with my friends..

### The End ###


End file.
